i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
