so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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