So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
