i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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