As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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