you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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