these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
