I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My breasts were aching with rage.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize