I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
