Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
