im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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