Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
