I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
