Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
