I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
