I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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