her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
