This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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