whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
