hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
