did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
