I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Vodka?
Forever.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
