Can Purell be used as lube?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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