We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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