Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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