just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
