That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
