She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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