apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize