Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
