is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
well you can't waste a boner
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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