My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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