I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
worst night to have a conscience
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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