Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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