Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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