We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
