My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
