Plan B is the new Plan A
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
