So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
