And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
