Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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