I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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