At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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