how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
