he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
