i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
