I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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