hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize