Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We're too hungover to prance.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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