does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
