The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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