Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
