She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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