what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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