I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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