Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
