they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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