My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
