I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
