he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
