They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
