Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
