you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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